Meet Berlin’s Mysterious Startup Hipster

By Toni Ellis |

With Berlin still buzzing over the news of the new Twitter headquarters, Silicon Allee wanted to get to know more about some of our favourite Tweet-ers. We spoke to the sometimes scandalous, always entertaining and increasingly mysterious Startup Hipster about entrepreneurshipismness, Dolphwhale, and what it means to be a hipster in Berlin.

SILICON ALLEE: What makes someone a Startup Hipster? Is it all in the glasses?

STARTUP HIPSTER: A Hipster doesn’t have negative connotations to me. My alias simply communicates that I’m making moves that will change the galaxy, and bringing far more dollars in than Slim Shady and all those gentlemen ever will. Yes, I wear glasses. Yes I own a pair of Low-Ride Levis. But my retinas aren’t too good and my jeans can withstand a centuries worth of chaffing. If you’re on the same page as me then you’re a Startup Hipster too – only not as brilliant.

SA: What’s your favourite startup in Berlin and why?

SH: I love every startup here, although I think they could all benefit from my intense experience and leadership. My favourite? I’d have to say the lesser-known ‘Dolphwhale.’ Dolphwhale allows you to take a picture of any Dolphin, and shows you how big that Dolphin would be if it were the size of a whale. You can share the results with friends too. Social aquaticness.

SA: What’s more hipster – iPhone, Android or that old Nokia that everyone and their mom had?

SH: Nokia 3210 for sure. Mine has been through a lot. Falls, fire and water. I also lost it when I was nine, and found it in a spice museum six years later. Forget ‘Find My iPhone,’ a 3210 will cling to you like an electronic Swedish sloth.

SA: What app do you use most and why?

SH: I’d have to say Colour Mix, the dinosaur edition. Nothing beats grabbing a coffee, taking a seat, and learning about additive colour mixing with a dinosaur as a canvas. This app has help me come to terms with my life in a vibrant, Jurassic kind of way.

SA: Do you have your own startup?

SH: I’ve had many lucrative and game-changing escapades. At the age of 13 I invented microchips. They’re still going strong today. Other notable endeavours of mine include inventing Lego – much to the denial of history – designing the very first car seat, and investing in the internet. I’m currently working on a new idea – in short, it’s the eBay for minerals. I think it will be huge.

SA: What do you think is missing from the Berlin startup and hipster scene?

SH: I think more entrepreneurshipismness. Google it, bro.

SA: What’s on your wishlist this year?

SH: In terms of my next move, I’m pretty confident it will be swift, profitable and genius. So my wishlist is mainly comprised of stuff I’d like to buy with the riches. For any founder out there wanting some monetary inspiration, here’s what’s currently lined up for me: A gold plated tank, one horse glued on top of another horse, a helicopter with plane wings, and a mansion with several small houses inside of it.

SA: Will you ever reveal your true identity?

SH: Identity doesn’t really matter. That’s why I tend to dress exactly like my friends. So I think my true identity will stay unknown for a little while. If you need a clue, imagine a cross between Christopher Walken, Christ and the guy who invented 3G. That’s as close as you’ll get for now.